is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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