where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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