i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
