I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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