i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
