she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
