Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
