Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
