Buhtt sex?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
