Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
