i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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