Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
