so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
