brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize