i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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