i just google imaged poop.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
