Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
