Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
