You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize