When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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