i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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