I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
