I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
