OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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