Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
