After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
