what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You are the jesus of drinking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
