Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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