Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have tasted many bathrooms
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
