I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
