She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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