Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
