3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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