There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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