hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
