Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
