i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
