I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize