I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
