Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
