I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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