bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
