College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
