my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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