she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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