We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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