just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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