better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
