Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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