he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize