Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
