I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
