we're chasing vodka with high fives
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
