I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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