I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
