Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
