If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
