I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize