one might say we're banned from that church
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
