You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
