I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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