I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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