tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
